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#queerpoetry

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What's that word
For when you arrive at a time that is
Bleaker than you imagined could possibly happen in the real world
And you know exactly how bad it is
And you feel almost overwhelming despair or grief or rage
And yet you are going along with your day-to-day and thriving,
And you feel almost overwhelming meaning and hope and love
And you know exactly how good it is
Better than you imagined could possibly happen in the real world
Especially during the time we have arrived in,
What is that word?

"Bed days by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

What were my mom's pain days like? Were they all of them? She didn't have weed, friends, a therapist, yoga, baths, Vicodin, T-3s, community acupuncture, fragrance-free or turmeric. She had wine, silence and a garden. She had hidden.

Sometimes I lie in bed on a pain day with my sick and disabled friends a finger swipe away, my twin canes, my partner who loves me my good bed, my nettles and my deep breaths, and still the pain in my knees and legs lives and shouts fire, and I wonder

if my disability is me feeling all the pain my mom never had a chance to feel finally safe enough to come home and talk to me."

— Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha: Tonguebreaker, p. 41