Every bi cis woman who is married or a long-term relationship with a cis man that I've tried giving the benefit of a doubt and dated or chatted with on a dating app has suddenly had to stop seeing or talking to me when the man they're with gets insecure and expresses "a boundary" that she can't do anything physical with another person or meet up with them. Like...bi ladies, leave your insecure, sexist man and go kiss girls already. A man controlling your body is a man controlling your body and should be kicked in the balls and left to be lonely and butt hurt by himself. ARGH.

To be clear, it is absolutely understandable that when people start venturing into non-monogamy, they may need to take things step by step, or even stop for a time. But a boundary is not "you can't do X," a boundary is "if you do X, I'll do Y." That's not a boundary and not a way to do non-monogamy or polyamory!!!

Sprechstunde, Onkel Emma Beratungsteam und Brief an mich selbst #dankbarkeit @trastarbs.bsky.social #OnkelEmma #Beratung #queer #polyamory #selbstfürsorge #tagesklinik #VergangenheitsIch #ptbs #kptbs #dp #selbstliebe youtube.com/shorts/GzD7p...

Sprechstunde, Onkel Emma Berat...

All my partners have now been to my local teahouse!

The teahouse has become something of a central feature in my life, a local spot for meet ups and conversation. It has good atmosphere and great food and a wide selection of tea. It's that bar or club in the sitcom of my life.

"Don't you ever feel lonely and jealous when your partner's out on a date and you're not?"

Haha, oh, my sweet summer child.

You underestimate what a treat it is to spend a night by myself, eating pizza bagels & watching Studio Ghibli, with absolutely no need to entertain anyone else.

Don't get me wrong -- I love my partners! But I love them a heck of a lot more when I get to be away from them sometimes.

Society expects us to live in each others' pockets, and to spend very little time alone. But for an introvert like me? Time all by myself, unobserved and unaccompanied, is an absolute necessity.

I love knowing that my more-extroverted partner is out getting their social needs met, while I'm having my delightful goblin-time.

Despite how it may feel, setting rules in relationships will actually leave you feeling more insecure. 
 
Rules mean your partner can't do things that might hurt you because they are not allowed to do so. 
 
Agreements, on the other hand, mean they don't do things that would hurt you because they don't want to. 

One of the things I don't like about #polyamory is it's not something I generally feel comfortable talking about in mixed company or public spaces. More because I don't want to bother to explain it to anyone than a fear of doing so. It's tiring! Today I had coffee with a friend who I don't see often but already knows, and it was just really nice talking about life without having to censor myself at all. Reminds you what it should feel like.

"People in non-monogamous relationships are as happy as monogamous couples, but…

... there's a serious catch."

The "serious catch" is society mononormatvity. Society likes to look down, and discriminate against people who live under a consensual non-monogamy arrangement.

#polyamory #nonmonogamy #mononormativity

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/03/people-in-non-monogamous-relationships-are-as-happy-as-monogamous-couples-but/

I have ideas again for a #fanfiction, for #Dracula by Bram Stoker, but make it queer and with #polyamory. As you can imagine, I am not the first who came up with that idea. There are over 200 fanfics about Dracula with more or less polyamory, on AO3, some including his brides, others pairing up most of the male characters, including Arthur Holmwood and Dr. Seward.
Writing such a fanfic would give me an excuse to return to one of my favourite historical eras, the late Victorian.
1/2

I recently finished reading "The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet" by Becky Chambers.

It was a quick and fun read. I liked the thoughts on war and peace, the criticism of fundamentalist faith, the union of multiple alien species in the Galactic Commons (GC), and the fact that they favored peaceful coexistence over profit in the end. The descriptions of the polyamorous culture of the Aandrisk (including the concepts of chosen families) were also quite heartwarming.

Given how often this book is recommended in the context of Solarpunk, I was a bit disappointed that it did not offer any new economic concepts. The characters still work for credits and buy stuff and even privileges with credits.

'Non-#monogamous people are just as happy in their love lives as those with only one partner but are not “significantly” more #sexually satisfied than traditional couples, research suggests.

#Polyamory, #openrelationships and swinging are among the many forms of #consensual non-monogamy. Polyamory has become increasingly #mainstream, with a recent poll showing that one in 25 #Britons have experienced it. A further one in 14 said they would be open to exploring it.'

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/mar/26/non-monogamous-people-relationships-couple-sexual-satisfaction-study

The discussion around whether hierarchy in #polyamory is ethical or not is a contentious one, but someone we can all agree on is that it's not okay to pretend to be non-hierarchical only to enforce a hierarchy on your relationships without discussion. 

Sneakyarchy comes in many forms. Sometimes, people don't realise they are doing it. However, others actively pretend to be non-hierarchical in order to get someone to date them.

Hi! New instance, new pinned post.

Send me cool people to follow (or introduce yourself!)

- leftists
- functional programmers, 'spcly #OCaml folks
- #Queer mfers, #BDSM, or #polyamory
- fans of #SystemicGames (#Factorio, #RimWorld, and the like)

come @ me

#TransRightsReadathon (Self Promotion time.)

I invite you to read my light novels - Trans writer, Trans characters.

For Love of a Konbini Idol: I Face Her Onryo Lover
For Love of a Konbini Idol: I Braved the Otherside
For Love of a Konbini Idol: I Searched for the Kudan

No good deed goes unpunished. As Umi discovers when she rescues Shiomi. Neither Shiomi nor the jealous, vengeful ghost that stalks her appreciates the act. Something they both make clear. As for Ume’s partner, Tomo, he is less than thrilled at the intrusion of an unpleasant third into their relationship. “I know I told you to find someone who would appreciate your advances, but I really question your taste.”

At: https://www.pixiv.net/novel/series/11417104
https://archiveofourown.org/works/52770025

Artist: https://bsky.app/profile/maisart.bsky.

#Polyamory doesn't just require learning about relationships but learning about yourself. 

If you want to learn and grow, you don't only need to broaden your horizons and discover more about the world. You need to focus inward and learn more about yourself. 
 
Once you do, you might be surprised at the things that actually make you happy. 

Sometimes, when reading books on #polyamory and non-monogamy, it's easy to feel detached. They will focus on broad topics in a way that means you don't necessarily connect with you personally or are books that discuss polyamory as a concept to be studied rather than reflecting your personal experience.

Not polywise. When I was reading this book, I felt like I was reading about myself.

https://www.discoveringpolyamory.com/blog/review-polywise-a-deeper-dive-in-navigating-open-relationships-by-jessica-fern-with-david-cooley

Let me be clear, this is a 100% sex-positive account. If your style of non-monogamy has a strong sexual element, then that is wonderful, and we support you. The world needs to be more open and honest about sex.

But that doesn't mean sex and sexual exploration are an essential part of polyamory. It's possible to be sex-positive and non-sexual. #Polyamory is about creating relationships that work for us, not pressuring everyone into wanting the same things.

I've watched the trailer to the upcoming Rom Com "Materialists" (with Dakota Johnson, Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans) and oh, dear, this looks like yet another version of the dramatic love triangle. I bet that the female protagonist finally has to decide between the two men, because these stories always go like that and none of the characters ever consider an open relationship or #polyamory. I am so tired of such stories.

The IMDB-page of the #film:
https://www.imdb.com/de/title/tt30253473/

Boundaries are important. But it can be challenging to identify and communicate exactly where our boundaries are. 

Sometimes, we only learn our boundaries when we come up against them, or when someone crosses one we didn't know we had. 
 
You are never "too far" into a relationship to learn about and communicate a new boundary. 

#WritersCoffeeClub 14: What are new themes you are currently exploring?

* 1: Conflict between the ideals of monogamy and poly. I have a character who has always identified as monogamous who finds themselves attracted to multiple people.

2: Ancient evil trying to return to the world

3: Tie in of story with major world events

The first is the big one.